to the boy that slipped away

you’ll never read this but its okay. you slipped away and I’m glad.

you slipped, but I took the fall.

I knew guys liked to play with your heart but I didn’t know that all of them did. I didn’t know they would string you along for nine months, but I know that now.

nine months is a long time if you think about it. hell, it takes nine months for a life to be born. it was nine months of false hope, or maybe you were honest. I’ll never know. we had a lot of conversations. and I told a lot of secrets but you never did. that’s a sign, I guess. I see them now. I told you anything and everything. but you never did. why is that? scared to get to close and catch feelings? or were you just trying to get something out of me to use it against me someday? and like I said, I’ll never know because there was no goodbye. there was no fuck you. there was no sorry or this isn’t what I want. there was no have a good life. it went from peachy compliments one day and the next day a block on every social media on the planet to eliminate all contact, or any chance of it.

of course I blamed myself. what did I do wrong? I was nice for as nice as I can be. I was happy. you made me happy. you said I made you happy and said the L word. but boy you lied. and you lied so hard.

it wasn’t the first time you did it to me. told me I wasn’t what you wanted before but you always came back saying you were wrong. there’s another sign I missed.

told me you hated when I partied while you partied every night. you  didn’t trust me when I was “in my state” you called it. I knew better than that but you still didn’t trust me. another sign I guess.

there’s tons of signs I missed. tons of things I didn’t see. but you won’t come back this time. and quite frankly, I’m glad. I’m much more happy without that storm cloud over my head.

I just hope the next girl you play isn’t as naïve. I hope she isn’t as stupid. I hope she sees it. I hope everyone can see it before their hearts get torn up.

I shouldn’t say you slipped away. you didn’t slip; you ran away. disappeared from me like a sick form of a magic trick.

it took me a second to realize all of this. but I see now how it was never me and that’s okay. I just wish you would have told me that.

but in the wise words of Billy Currington, it don’t hurt like it used.

 

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