I’ve told too many people too many things about me. things I swore to tell the important people. but I spilled too many secrets and revealed too many mysteries. I’ve given myself away emotionally too many times. and it’s starting to ruin things for me.
I have a thing for fruit punch. I’m picky about it. but, only some types make me happy. I do have a favorite one. it is a certain brand and comes in a certain container.
if I’ve told you my favorite kind of fruit punch, that’s when you know I’ve spilled too much.
seems pretty trivial to most people. but to confess such irrelevant things means the world to me. shows a different side to somebody and it lets you see peek into their head without being invasive. but sometimes the people that make you happy and the ones that you profess these frivolous things to turn around and leave or stab you in the back or suddenly turn on you. it poisons those memories and those favorite things of yours and you begin to only see them in those favorite things of yours.
your vision starts to change.
instead of seeing the amount of calories or milligrams of sodium on the back of the fruit punch label, you start seeing their eyes and the amount of hatred in them. you get turned off by the sight of your favorite punch. you don’t get that feeling when you are standing in front of the clear glass door at the supermarket begging your mom to just buy you one carton. you don’t physically taste it on your tongue like you used to be able to when you would pull the container out of the fridge.
instead, you walk up to that glass door silently pleading that it’s all sold out or they don’t make it anymore. you scan your eyes across all the cartons so fast you pray your eyes move quick enough they don’t land on that carton. but they always will. you don’t beg to buy it. and that mouthwatering feeling you used to get, well, that has long gone bitter and stale.
you start to connect this stupid carton of juice to that person even though it has nothing to even do with them except the one time you slipped and told them it was your favorite. it makes you remember things you spent ages trying to forget and all you wanted was some damn juice.
so who cares that you told someone it was your favorite type of fruit punch? well once something like that gets so ruined its beyond fixing, its hard to forget it. but eventually you’ll be able to. you began to forget why it was even your favorite thing.
you lose sight of it and forget about it. you move on and decide it’s better to just forget that thing all together. just forget your fruit punch and start buying orange juice. that’s the easy way out.
but you shouldn’t take the easy way out.
but you shouldn’t let someone ruin your fruit punch. you shouldn’t let someone break you so bad you lose sight of your favorite things in this world, the things that make you happy. don’t settle for anything less than what you want and what makes you smile. because one day you’ll see past those anger eyes on the label and your mouth won’t taste so sour anymore. pain doesn’t last forever and neither does hatred. forget all about that person, but don’t let them ruin all those trivial things that actually mean everything.
don’t settle on that orange juice, darling. start loving your fruit punch again.